When Christmas Doesn’t Go as Planned: Holiday Custody Issues in Wake County, North Carolina
For a lot of families, Christmas is about traditions, matching pajamas, and kids waking up way too early. But if you’re separated, divorced, or in the middle of a custody dispute, the holidays can also bring a lot of stress—especially when parenting schedules aren’t clear or cooperation is hard to come by.
At Betham Law, PLLC, we see this every year in Wake County. Holiday custody disagreements tend to pop up fast and escalate quickly, often right when emotions are already running high.
If you’re worried about how parenting time will work this Christmas, here’s what you should know—and what you can do to protect yourself and your children.
Why Christmas Brings Out Custody Conflicts
Christmas isn’t a normal week. School is out, family is in town, and everyone wants to create special memories with their kids. That combination can lead to problems like:
Both parents wanting Christmas morning
Confusion over holiday schedules in custody orders
Disagreements about travel or visiting relatives
One parent deciding to “keep the kids a little longer”
Arguments over traditions, gifts, or church
Even parents who generally co-parent well can struggle during the holidays.
How Holiday Custody Works in Wake County
In North Carolina, holiday schedules control over regular custody schedules. That means if your court order or custody agreement lays out Christmas or winter break parenting time, those dates matter more than your usual weekly routine.
A few important reminders:
You can’t change the holiday schedule on your own—even if it feels reasonable
“We’ve always done it this way” doesn’t override a court order
Keeping the children outside your scheduled time can lead to contempt issues
If your order is vague or doesn’t mention Christmas at all, that’s often where disputes begin.
Can I Travel With My Child Over Christmas?
This is one of the most common questions we get at Betham Law, PLLC around the holidays.
The answer depends on:
What your custody order says
Whether travel interferes with the other parent’s time
Whether notice or consent is required
Even if travel isn’t prohibited, poor communication or late returns can cause serious problems once court resumes in January.
Best practice: Put travel plans in writing and get confirmation ahead of time.
What If the Other Parent Isn’t Following the Holiday Schedule?
Unfortunately, some parents use the holidays as leverage. If the other parent refuses to exchange the children, keeps them longer than allowed, or ignores the holiday schedule, take a breath before reacting.
Here’s what to do instead:
Document everything (texts, emails, missed exchanges)
Don’t retaliate or withhold future time
Speak with a Wake County family law attorney about next steps
Courts take holiday violations seriously—especially when children are caught in the middle.
Keeping the Focus on the Kids
Wake County judges consistently focus on one thing: the best interests of the child.
That means:
Don’t ask your child to choose where they spend Christmas
Avoid criticizing the other parent in front of them
Be flexible when possible—but protect your legal rights
Sometimes the healthiest holiday looks different than what you originally imagined—and that’s okay.
Holiday Custody FAQ (Wake County, NC)
What if my custody order doesn’t mention Christmas?
If your order is silent, parents are expected to act reasonably—but disagreements are common. This is a good time to get legal guidance before a conflict turns into a court issue.
Can my ex refuse to let me see my child on Christmas?
Not if your custody order gives you time. Refusing to follow a holiday schedule may result in contempt or future custody consequences.
What happens if the other parent won’t return my child after Christmas?
Document everything and contact a family law attorney immediately. You may have enforcement options available through the Wake County courts.
Can we agree to change the holiday schedule?
Yes—parents can agree to changes, but it’s best to put them in writing. Verbal agreements often lead to misunderstandings later.
Is it too late to fix holiday custody problems this year?
Not necessarily. Even if Christmas is close, getting advice now can help prevent long-term issues or protect your position moving forward.
Talk to a Wake County Family Law Attorney
The holidays don’t pause family law issues—but having clear guidance can make a big difference.
At Betham Law, PLLC, we help Wake County families navigate custody, separation, and divorce issues with clarity and compassion—especially during stressful times like the holidays.
If you have questions about holiday custody or parenting time, now is the time to get answers before problems escalate. Schedule a consultation with an attorney at Betham Law, PLLC and we will guide you through the process. For legal advice relating to any of family law matters, please contact Betham Law, PLLC to schedule a consultation today.
